Humans vs. Zombies: Game Plan

Zombies have been a bigger part of my life recently than they ever have been. Humans vs. Zombies starts tomorrow, and I am so unbelievably excited. I’ve spent more hours than I’d like to admit catching up on the Walking Dead, and based on what I’ve learned, this is my game plan (which I will adhere to in the case of an actual zombie apocalypse):

  1. Stay Alive- I know that this seems obvious, but it is only stage one of my plan. There is more at stake here than just surviving: I want to get the full experience of a zombie apocalypse, on the off chance that one doesn’t happen in real life. So, I’m going to stay alive: living in Hayman for the past few months, I’ve honed a pretty reliable shot with my nerf gun. I’ve got plenty of socks too, and will always be wearing things with pockets to keep my socks close at hand. I will also wear my running shoes at all times. Even though they are not cute, and don’t match with anything, they are the #3 fastest things I can have on my feet (preceded only by my racing spikes and jet-powered shoes--which-- to my knowledge have not been made available to the general public yet). I will follow the advice I’ve been given from one of the smartest kids I know from high school: “Three tips for HvZ: Run, look behind you, and don't miss.” I think I should be able to stay alive long enough to be fully paranoid, but my goal is to survive until at least ½ of my allies have been contaminated. Once that happens, I will initiate phase 2. Because who would want a bunch of zombies for friends? Not me.
  2. Get Zombified- how and when this happens is of extreme importance to the success of the plan. I will “accidentally” get tagged on my way to class. While the zombie virus floods my bloodstream, I’ll be in class, and nobody will know what is happening to me UNTIL I tag everyone once I exit the academic building.
  3. Zombie Rampage- feed as often as possible. Eat more humans than everyone else. Win a t-shirt. Wear it ALL THE TIME.

--Claire Cushing

Claire is a freshman pre-engineering major from Sandy, Oregon.