An Abundance of Ashleys

What is in a name?

When time travel finally becomes real, the very first thing I am going to do is prevent twerking from becoming a thing. But, the second thing I am absolutely going to do is run in on the day of my birth, right before my parents hold me up to the viewing public (Lion King style) and announce my name, to tell them that the name they just came up with for their baby girl is bad and that they should feel bad. And ashamed.

I’m joking, of course. But seriously, Mom and Pop, would a little creativity have killed you? Ashley? Ashley? You had to choose the most popular name in all of existence?

Currently, there are 484,509 people in the world named Ashley. I’m not saying it’s a bad name. I’m just saying that I’d like to be the only one in a class with the name Ashley. Just once. Here at C of I, I’ve had up to three other girls named Ashley in class with me at a given time. I’m not even the only Ashley Miller, hence why my moniker has always been ‘Ashley A. Miller’ (insert necessary and always hilarious “There can only be one” joke). It’s also why I also am the only one in the ENTIRE HISTORY of the school who has a number in their email address.

While strolling through the club fair, I began thinking that I should start a club. “Ashleys Anonymous” has a nice alliteration-y ring to it, but upon further contemplation, actually makes no sense and “The Ashleys” is already taken by the bratty girls from Recess.

The thing is, though, I could totally start that club, despite the ridiculousness of the idea. Clubs abound here at C of I.

You like Role Playing in Chainmail and foam swords? BOOM. We gotta club for that. Do your feet have a yearning that only Ballroom dancing can satisfy? There’s a club for that. Do you enjoy yachts and the other finer things in life? Then join the Yacht Club (located in Caldwell, Idaho which is almost 500 miles inland and is home to no recorded yacht sightings in the history of…ever. C of I students are nothing if not ambitious).

Right now, we’re getting ready for the annual senate and Judicial Board elections, if policy and government is more your style. It personally makes me want to throw up a little bit, but, hey, to each his own. One of my best friends is on the Senate Board, and I guess he is sometimes (occasionally)  an alright guy. (I’m kidding, Patrick, don’t get your buttons in a twist). You have to appreciate the senate for being the amazing people they are. They do the job that no one wants to do. They are the moms of the C of I campus.

One of my favorite clubs on campus (in case charity and helping the less fortunate sounds appealing to you) is Food Bank club. It’s a great way to give back without having to put too much effort into it (ideal for most college students who have about, oh I don’t know, a million gazillion things to do per week).

Or, like I mentioned above, create your own club. Thinking like that is how the United States was formed (…right? I need a fact checker but that sounds right). Have a great week, readers.

Signed the one, the only,

Ashley A. Miller

Oh, and P.S.,

The photo attached with this week's post is a picture I took during the craziest rain storm I have ever seen here. It also can be interpreted as a dramatic metaphor, reflecting this blogger's emotions every time someone says "Ashley?" and she turns around excitedly, only to realize, too late, that the speaker did not mean her. Ah, the curse of an Ashley.

Ashley is a Sophomore Creative Writing major from Payette, Idaho.