I Am Not a Pirate

Let me give you a brief snapshot of my life right now, readers.

It’s after 5 p.m. here, the sun is shining with more confidence than it has the previous (give or take) 136 days, I have no pressing deadlines to worry about, and I’m a college student. The last bit is important because, as I was telling one of my professors early this week, college students can be defined easily, as they are that unique age group where they all collectively embody pirates.

Okay, just…go with me on this one.

They are like pirates, not in the “pillaging of villages/drunken debauchery/seafaring shenanigans” way, but in the way they look at life. Life pirates, like college 20-somethings, take what they can out of the human experience and give nothing back, living their life from one adventure to the next.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions or outliers to this principle. Case in point: yours truly.

So while it is nearly time for this bonnie lass’ evening meal of hearty chicken legs and flagons of mead (sorry, my above metaphor has got me really stuck on pirates for some reason), it’s a criminally gorgeous day out, with an infinite numbers of adventures laying ripe for the having in front of me, I’m currently lying in bed. Doing nothing. In my pajamas. Where I have been all day.

It’s just been that kind of week, readers, that calls for me to spend my entire weekend recovering. Netflix, YouTube, John Green, and food that is horrendously bad for me is exactly what my 11-year-old self prescribes for such occasions (fun fact, 11-year-old me wanted to be a doctor. This was before I realized that doctoring is 50% math and 75% science and the only subjects in school I consistently perform poor in are math and science. You know how much math and science are involved in creative writing? Actually quite a bit. Seriously, learn math and science kids.).

I was worried I was going to, you know, have to put on pants and be a functioning member of society or whatever in order to get dinner soon but I’m in luck! Readers, you know my feelings about pizza. Or, more to the point, free pizza. And movies. So when those two amazing things come together, my timbers are thoroughly shivered (#unfortunatepiratereferences. Let’s get that trending on Twitter, shall we?) and you can count on my presence. And, luckily, I only have to walk down two flights of stairs to get there. So, yeah, I’ll probably have to put on pants, but I can live with it. Especially because the movie in question is Thor: The Dark World and what better way to spend my Saturday night than with Chris Hemsworth, a sassy Kat Dennings, and an even sassier Tom Hiddleston?

Luckily, though, while the rest of the school is probably going to be elbow-deep in anxiety and panic next week, what with mid-terms being the veritable scurvy in the life of a modern-day pirate, I have a relatively easy week. No tests, one paper, a project I’m working on at Boise Weekly (involving maps. Maps, readers. Actual maps, like pirates use. I swear, I didn’t intend to have so much pirate imagery this post.) and then I am free for Spring Break. I can already smell the pleasant, yet pungent, odor of my industrial-strength sunblock that will need to be applied to my skin when I head outside during the week-long break.

Just kidding. If you think that I am going to spend a minute of my vacation anywhere but indoors, you really haven’t been paying attention to this blog.

Until we meet again,

Ashley A. Miller

PS: Since my view is limited up here on my bed, the picture this week is one that I took walking to my internship. It, I believe, is a modern art piece about the fragility of life and culture in our fast-paced society. 

Ashley is a sophomore Creative Writing major from Payette, Idaho.