What Mr. Rochester Doesn't Know

The situation is this, readers:

In less than a week, I have a 15-page paper due in my 19th Century British Fiction class that, being worth a colossal 40% of my grade, is the factor that will decide what grade I get in that class. A couple months ago, I made a deal with myself that I would write two pages a week on that paper so that when it came to the due date, I wouldn’t be tearing my hair out and punching things in rage. You know how much I have written for that paper?

Nothing.  Not a single word. I know, I’m a role model.

But I have a good (well, goodish) excuse. A list of them, in fact. So, this week’s blog will be a comprehensive list of all the things I’ve been doing instead of working on my paper. The title of this post comes from the fact that my paper is an in-depth character analysis of Jane Eyre’s infamous brooding bad boy, Mr. Rochester.

What Mr. Rochester doesn’t know is the fact that, instead of writing a paper about him, I…

…went and saw the new school play, A Lie of the Mind. It was amazing and made me want to grow a mullet.

…spent my Saturday afternoon bettering myself mentally by hanging out at the Student Research Conference, where I learned about everything from Bosnian singing techniques to the subtle stylistic differences between each Harry Potter movie.

…wrote a ten page essay for my non-fiction writing class on Doctor Who.

…wrote a five page paper for my Journalism class.

…wrote a seven page paper also for my Journalism class.

…interviewed a director of this film festival that is coming to Idaho for my internship.

…subsequently wrote an 800 word article about said interview.

…got my car fixed after it broke down at Walmart. Luckily, there was a mini-van driving guardian angel there to help me out as I stood beside my car trying not to cry.

…read 150 pages of The Secret Garden, also for my 19th Century British Fiction class.

…had two separate interviews for jobs next year.

…help make 60 cupcakes for the history department’s annual barbeque.

…saw the Captain America sequel.

…saw the Captain America sequel again.

…saw the Captain America sequel a third time (in other news, I think I have a problem).

…went to the art show put on by the graduating art majors.

…cried about the fact that I am a crappy artist. If you don’t believe me, see the photo attached with this post. It was the best sketch I could do of Mr. Rochester.

…lost horrifically in a game of Monopoly.

…did homework outside in the Quad after the sun finally came out.

…helped my roommate with her experiment on fiddler crabs.

…helped take the canned food C of I students had donated down to the Caldwell food bank.

…got lost on my way back because I have never been to that side of town.

...started idly packing up stuff because, like it or not, it’s almost time to move out again.

…and finally, I wrote this blog post.

See? It seems perfectly justifiable that I haven’t had time for Mr. Rochester! I’ve been way too busy! In fact, after looking at all the things I’ve accomplished the last week and a half, I feel like I deserve a few days break…and Ice cream. Much ice cream.

Mr. Rochester and I will have to postpone our date till this weekend.

-Ashley Miller

Ashley is a sophomore Creative Writing major from Payette, Idaho.