WAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH. That’s the sound my anxiety makes.
It’s dead week here on campus, meaning if you see a crumbled body sitting in the corner of the room, fear not. It’s not the shambling corpse of a hobo. It’s a Political Economy major with three essays and a presentation due tomorrow. Though my dead week is comparatively light compared to most, I’m still drowning in my own tears due to stress. I’ve also spent the last few weeks recovering from a violent break-up with my appendix so, my social life has really just been me sharing the hot gossip from campus with my roommate’s cardboard cutout of Ronald Reagan and getting disappointed when he just continues to stare blankly at the wall like we’re in Berlin again, Mr. Gorbachev.
Because of this, I’ve missed out on a lot of stuff that happened this last few weeks. But, luckily for me and you, my Facebook friends did not. So, without further ado, I bring part 3 of Reagan’s favorite series: What My Facebook Friends are Doing Without Me.
1. Dancing. While lying on the couch in abject misery, I missed out on the annual charity ball. The charity ball is essentially prom with a purpose and it’s an excuse to actually dress up and not look like sacks of potatoes. According to my Facebook friends it was magnificent and lovely.
2. Taunting NNU. At C of I we like to pick our battles, and our greatest battle is relentlessly picking on NNU. We love NNU, honestly. They are our brother in arms…albeit a younger brother who still has a bedtime, but still! The annual basketball game against NNU took place while I was recuperating from having my insides ruptured like San Andres. But, because of my sweet connections being on SUB committee, I was able to still get a shirt. It’s my new favorite article of winter clothing, as it has no chill.
3. Being Talented. Speaking of SUB committee, we held an open mic night for all the talented people on campus and I was blown away by how good it was. And also very angry. I believe that if I’m not good at something, no one should be. So because I sound like the vocal embodiment of athlete’s foot, no one should be able to sing beautifully. But whatever. See picture for a couple of adorable talented people.
4. Being Cold. Some of my Facebook friends have made the grievous error of venturing outdoors. While I was wrapped up in a literal mound of blankets, they were outside in the 20 degree cold looking ridiculous with their puffy coats and “please kill me” smiles.
+1 I was actually there for. Luckily, I was healed enough by yesterday to attend my own public reading. In the advanced poetry workshop, you do not have a final. Instead, the entire class holds a public reading of some of their work. This year, we held it at the Birdstop, a charmingly derelict coffee shop downtown that happens to be one of my favorite places in Caldwell. A lot of people showed up and were brought to tears by my poem about Star Trek. So, that was neat.
I get my stitches out tomorrow, so I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled shenanigans next week. I’ll have better stuff to write about and I’ll hopefully be less consumed with the hellfire of dead week like I am now. Good luck and Godspeed, readers.
Ashley Miller is a senior creative writing major from Payette.