In between shoveling plates full of homemade food into my mouth, I was totally holding my breath waiting for grades to come out. It’s like for five minutes you’re just purely grateful that finals are over and you can sleep for a solid nine hours without waking up in a pool of your own sweat while your subconscious screams at you for letting Dr. Mansfield down with your uselessness. That moment after you turn in the last final is literally nothing but pure exultation, as the hell you have been living in is finally at an end. Then, your five minutes are up, and all you can do is stress, stress, stress about what will happen to your transcript after your professor’s grade your sad, sleep deprived offerings. That’s literally what it feels like too, like I’m some sad little half blind, declawed cat dragging a sick pigeon’s corpse to my professor’s door like, “I’m so sorry, I’m doing my best, life is just strange and difficult right now and I’ve had Taco Bell three times in the last two days”. I’m not what you would call proud of my lack of ambition during those last few weeks of this Fall Semester, but I also won’t apologize because… I don’t have the energy to.
I had one final that really kicked my butt, and that was for the only science class I’ve taken during college, “Murder, Medicine, and Magic” with Dr. Mansfield. Dr. Mansfield is a kick-ass professor, he’s very patient, very kind, totally willing to go all out to help his students to learn and be successful. He’s absolutely great! And that’s what makes me feel so bad, because I know in my heart of hearts that I was a terrible pain in the butt to have in that class. It’s one thing to be horrible in a class with a professor you don’t like, but to stare blankly into the face of a kind-hearted professor who’s begging you to just… Get what he’s saying for the love of God, and you can’t, no matter how hard you try… Alas. Dr. Mansfield, if you’re reading, this one’s for you. You deserved better than the likes of me. I appreciate what you tried to do, and every time I put a vegetable on my plate I do it in your honor, in apology.
During this finals week I also pulled an all-nighter for the first time since I was a freshman and let me tell you, I am not as young as I used to be. I’ve stayed up super late writing last minute essays of course, but normally I’ll sneak in a three hour power nap or something so I don’t completely lose my mind. This time I didn’t even have time for a thirty minute snooze; I just had to powerhouse through the pain. And it was painful. After everything was said and done, I went to class, turned in my project, stumbled home, face-planted into bed, and tried to crash. For some reason (because I hate myself) I didn’t just go straight to sleep though. Instead I got on Instagram and tried to stalk my friends to see how they were faring. I ended up staring at this picture of my girl Katherine for a solid three minutes thinking it was a GIF, but no, I was just hallucinating that her face was moving. I took that for the sign in was, promptly took off my pants, and crashed. You will never sleep a more satisfying, restful sleep than that of a sleep free of responsibilities. I didn’t open by eyes until it was pitch black outside, I crawled out of bed, made myself an entire box of macaroni and cheese, ate it, brushed my teeth, crawled back into bed, and checked out.
Christmas Break is the greatest. I love it so much. The semester’s over, so there’s no homework/ class projects you need to work on. Unlike Thanksgiving Break which was literally just a homework-a-thon, this is everyone’s real chance to hang out at home with loved ones and chill out a bit. Me and my cat, Fleetwood, have loved hanging out on the family couch watching dumb TV with my sister and eating everything my mom pulls out of the oven. Yesterday my best friend from childhood flew home from Denver, so I’m excited to spend the next few days catching up with her. I still have a few Christmas presents to buy, but most of that dirty work is done. Getting gifts for everyone can be a little exhausting, and driving to the mall right now reminds me a little bit of the “Mad Max” movies. Regardless, gift giving is a blast, and CHRISTMAS is a hot skip and a jump away. I hope everyone reading this is having a fantastic holiday and continues to be filled with cheer and warm fuzzy feelings. Drink some cocoa next to a fire, give your pets a hug, and tell your momma you love her. It’s the best time of the year, and we better make sure it lives up to it’s tagline. Have a great holiday y’all!